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One bad turn
The fox and the crane is such a clever fable. The fox pretending to be caring excites the crane with an invitation to dine but is indeed mean by serving on a plate crane cannot eat from. As they say, on bad turn deserves another and crane plays an equivalent trick on fox. I can think of a little bit of gossip that I can title one bad turn.
Let's begin. Not long ago Thornton was partaking in an afternoon drink with Edie and Ant, pretty much as they are now, though a little later in the day, when he informed them he was on his way to, how shall I say, a livelier pub to meet a few mates and would they like to come. Sure, why not, no need to stop drinking now, yeah.
Well, he added a little later what he meant by livelier was there would be a wet t-shirt contest. He was pretty sure Ant would enjoy it but he thought he would just see how it played out with Edie, it isn’t really her thing. The reaction was a little underwhelming so he added for Edie’s benefit there would also be a wet pants contents. Well, Edie replied, if a friend of mine were going to be entering a wet pants contest I would most certainly want to support him. Thornton laughed: one bad turn, and he agreed.
So it was that a few pints later they found themselves seated at a table against the wall of a busy pub, a pub getting busier. Edie and Ant sat with their backs against the wall, Thornton’s friends chatted to themselves. Thornton was at the end of the bar waiting to register his interest when his eye caught that of a woman with short dark hair. She smiled. This is the quietest part of the bar. It seems so long since those days of waving your hand for service at bar counter three deep. Yes, but it is only free drinks on this side. Thornton smiled. I can get you one but you have to sign up with me. She took her time to reply. So, we are going to see your pants, are we? Thornton had an idea. Sure, and see that large table along the end, I’ll make sure every one of them cheers for you. She looked in his eyes with her most serious expression. If that is a promise I will do it.
When Thornton told the table a minute later Edie responded: one bad turn.
As the anointed hour approached the crowds filled in all the spaces - when the call came for the contestants there was barely enough space for Thornton to find his way to the bar. The crowd reflected the constitution of their table, many more men than women, it was groups of male friends with a few mixed groups. No groups which were entirely women. I am not quite sure how I feel about that.
Fifteen minutes later a rather large drag queen with a flowery dress, bouffant blond hair and heels to die for, or to die in, stepped onto the stage. Her baritone voice rang out, capturing the audience with insults and promise. She welcomed each of the contestants, now all wearing identical white shirts, and half wearing identical tight white boxers, onto the stage with a simple question which required a one word answer. And a comment to keep the audience lightly entertained until there were twelve contestants on the stage with the drag queen and two bouncers, one male one female, each holding a large bottle of water. Six men on one side. Six women on the other. The drag queen inspected each of the contestants as if it were a military parade. Demanding they stand with their hands behind their back she lifted their shirts with a little stick commenting on their stomachs with some rude and lewd innuendos and a clear preference for young Thornton. One or two early male nipple flashes got the crowd going.
The men were first to be dowsed. Two of the men were as fine looking as Thornton. They danced together and both of them had their shirts off at the first opportunity, and the crowd whooped. Ant told me he was surprised by how genuine the cheers for the male nudity was as when he first surveyed the crowd he had not judged them as appreciating male nudity. Edie maintained they were simply cheering the men because the women were to follow, and any encouragement would be rewarded later. Two of the men were on the chubbier side, they did not take off their shirts, rather they kept lifting them away from their bodies mistakenly believing if their paunches were not pressing against the wet material would make the audience forget their love handles. Both of them, in turn, danced excessively energetically. The fifth man was a beanpole who, even before the water, was clearly the largest of the lot. He barely danced, rather, slowly turning his massive phallus clearly visible through the translucent wet material to the left then to the right. Thornton was last. He worked the crowd the best, smiling and pointing out people, teasing the bouncer as she poured water on him, gyrating his hips as in a mimicry of female erotica and teasingly stripping down to his pants. Their table went wild for him.
The men were each given a towelling robe and the women took their turn. The first two were clearly dancers, they both were wearing tight shorts, they both had moves, dancing moves rather than seductive moves as Thornton had. Each in turn, they both wowed the crowd with their physics and their skills. Then came a pair who danced together. They stood still for the bouncer as he poured water over their tops, and as the music came on their dancing was with each other rather than to the audience, like women dancing about the ubiquitous handbag. Then was the turn of a chunkier woman who clearly loved the audience but was not much of a dancer. Hers was the only woman's top that came off in the first round, though she seemed at a loss of what to do once she had cupped her breasts for the audience. She started unzipping her jeans but did not strip them down, possibly because the music faded out. Finally came the short dark haired beauty Thornton had instructed their table to shout for, and their table went wild. Edie thought Ant had whistled a little too fervently, but Ant shrugged to say it was just the mood of the moment. From the stage she responded well to their adulation and much of her dance was directed at their table including a flash of her nipples though her top remained on.
The women were given towelling robes and the performers all left the stage to enjoy their champagne in the VIP area while the drag queen invited the audience to refresh their glasses in anticipation of the second act. Ant chuckled when retelling the memory of this being the only pub he had been to with a queue at the men's but not at the women's. Edie rolled her eyes.
The drag queen gave them plenty of time to get in a drink or two before starting the second act, it seemed quite a bit of champagne had been drunk in the VIP area as the contestants were noticeably tipsier. The drag queen announced a change in the format, dancers would be coming on stage in pairs, the pair with the loudest cheer would win the prize. Thornton said all the women had spent the interval trying to convince him to pair with them, but he stuck to the woman he had met at the bar.
First was one of the dancers with the beanpole. Once they were both suitably wet she danced about him almost as if he were the pole in her poledance. She stripped off his shirt and his pants and he held his hips forward letting his cock sway dramatically. Second was a foursome with the two pairs, the men stripping off their pants almost immediately, the women keeping up by stripping off their shirts. But that was the highlight of their performance as from then on they resorted to dancing by themselves. Then can one of the chubby men with the topless woman. The chubby man kept to the side with his jazzy hands pointing towards the woman who, once again, was not dancing. Once she had cupped her breasts she unzipped her jeans again, the zip went all the way down her crotch and back up her bum so her jeans could split in two. But no matter how long the music played she did not seem to manage to finish unzipping. Perhaps coyness, perhaps a wardrobe malfunction. Then came the other dancer and the other chubby bloke. She danced about him and he was more handsy with her. Their performance turned into his trying to undress her and her playfully slapping him away while dancing about him. Finally came the short dark haired beauty with Thornton. They were fabulous, teasing each other, flashing each other with mock horror expressions, flashing the audience to the other's mock horror.
When the cheers were counted, the dancer wrapped about the beanpole got a loud cheer. The foursome a louder cheer as the men swung their pricks in circles and the women bent to pull down their pants and flash their arses. The topless woman once again unzipped but only got a small cheer. The other dancer let the chubby man catch her and lift her top but her flash only got a small cheer. The short dark haired beauty and Thornton took turns in flashing while the other pointed. First he flashed his cock, then she flashed her boobs. They got a loud cheer too.
The second round of cheers only involved three groups. First the dancer who remained handsy on the naked beanpole, second the foursome repeating their cock helicopters and naked arses and finally the short dark haired beauty pointed to Thornton who stripped for a cock helicopter and then he pointed while she bent over for a full monty from the rear. It was not enough. The cheer for the foursome was easily the loudest, right from the moment the two men had stepped on stage they had been the favourites.
And so a fun evening was had by all, when Thornton returned to the table they left for a quieter venue as they all wanted something to eat.
But what about the twist in the tail of the tale? Well, a few days later at work a new colleague joins, she is none other than the short dark haired beauty, whom, I am sure you have guessed by now is none other than Erika sitting over there. And by now you must have guessed why Ant always listens intently to Erika's anecdotes while Edie barely pays them any attention. One bad turn, what a fable.
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