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In my head

This time I have to be present and perform, this time, and then after I will think it was all on me, it was all my decision.  Not a compromise, not something that flowed from a conversation we may have had about what might be best.  I think it is best, and maybe you don't say anything because you are not sure you will be able to change things.  And worried that trying to change things will make it worse.  But I don't know.  I don't know if this conversation is in my head or real.

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