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057 :: No one to talk to
The Skroll buzzed. Naomi picked it up. An alert. Diane wanted to be bathed. Half an hour. Naomi took out the oil burner. She placed the candles. She prepared the bath oils. She found Peter in the kitchen.
Diane. (Naomi)
Yes. I got an alert. A bit of a rush here. Not quite panicking yet. (Peter)
Bath. (Naomi)
Yes. She must have liked what you did yesterday. You are making her really happy. (Peter)
Naomi returned to the bathroom. She ran the bath. Lit the candles. Dimmed the lights. She was ready. Waiting.
Thank you. This is perfect. (Diane)
Naomi silently undressed Diane. Items of clothing fell. Skirt. Shirt. Stockings. Knickers. Bra.
You are so kind. So generous. It would be good if we could talk. (Diane)
Naomi scooped up the clothes. Dropped them in the laundry chute
Bathroom. No ears. (Diane)
Diane stepped into the bath. Naomi started washing her.
I work with fucking morons all day then come home to silence. Naomi. You will be able to read this later because you are in the room. You will be able to read the translation. No ears means the recording is encrypted for anyone who has a lower rank than me. And I have a high rank because of John. Not as high as him obviously. It might just mean the listeners will not be able to listen to it. The AI will notice. The AI will flag the conversation. But maybe they won’t have a listener with a high enough rank available. God I am getting bogged down. (Diane)
Thing is I do not have anyone to talk to. Not really. John has too many issues to deal with. Issues of state. I can not trouble him with my gripes. And I have never felt a connection with Peter. There is something sneering about him. I try to treat him fairly but there is just something I find unsettling about him. I have to pretend he is John when he touches me. I would rather not have him in my bed. But it is the done thing. What would they say if I never fucked my au pair. I would rather you did not tell him if you read this later. He is a wonderful cook. The house is always perfect. He is really a very good au pair. I will give him a perfect reference when we lose him. (Diane)
You came. You have soft eyes. Watching all the time. You have a caring touch. Yesterday I wanted to cry when you undressed me. Today I wanted to cry at your touch. But it is the barrier between us that deserves the tears. You are here to learn English. To start a new life. We brought you here to improve our status. And one day you hope to be me. To have a home in London. Probably not as grand as this home. But it will be your home. These transactions is why we are here but I wish for more. (Diane)
It is a bad dream. I am sorry to tell you this but your dream is a bad dream. What you have to remember is that it is only a dream. It will be fun while you are striving to improve your lot. String. That is a good word. I wonder if it will be as good when you translate it. If you read this. (Diane)
I started poor too Well. Not poor poor. Not rich like this. My mum was an actor. My dad died when I was twelve. Killed himself. For a long time I thought I had killed him. I prayed for his death. Then he died. That fucked me up for many years. (Diane)
I met John at Uni. It was always about ambition. Did I guess that right about you. Are you ambitious too. (Diane)
Naomi lay a hot flannel on her face. Diane lifted the flannel from her mouth.
It is more difficult for au pairs. You have so much more to learn. That is why you have to enjoy learning. Enjoy the process. Enjoy trying to make things better. Trying is good. God. I must stop. I am being a cynical old bitch mouthing off to someone who can not understand a word I say. I am being a bitching bitch. Bitching that I have got it so good. Forgive me. (Diane)
Diane lay quietly for less than a minute.
Fuck it. Let me tell you how this shit works. When you read this later you can decide if I am a bitch or just real. It starts off with a dream. Always a dream.. I guess if there is not a dream then there is not a story. Once you have a dream then there will be action. So much action. It is always about the next action you are going to take. Applying for a new job. In the beginning I had the job. John was a runner. That is why he has it all now. My paying the bills meant he could meet the right people. And knowing the right people is the secret to it all. Not a secret really. It is obvious. The trick is to make those people think you are brilliant. That is where the hard action takes place. Being at the right parties. Dressing in the right way. Sharing the right drugs. And all of it to make the right people think you are interesting enough to keep around. I am not saying it was not fun. The parties. The sex. The laughter. The sex was fine. Not as many orgasms as I get from you. But I bet you do not get any orgasms for John or me. (Diane)
I think I will ask Peter for another orgasm after supper. (Diane)
But sex does not replace companionship. John and I used to make plans. All the time we would be working out what we were going to do next. What we could leverage from the night before. And that is the point at which it all falls apart. John has that power we craved and now all that is left in his heart is his iShine. His connection with his world. His real world. Not our world. It is always his world now. He is always connected. Always available. He will get the brain plug soon. My advice to you is to get a power wife. Be lesbian. Women are better. It will give you more chance of being kept. (Diane)
Diane lay quietly for a long time. Naomi prepared a fresh hot flannel. Diane shook her hed. Stood. Stepped out of the bath. Naomi dried her.
It will not be long before I am discarded. UP until now he needed someone to help him plot his success. NOw he does not need me any more. He needs a distraction to hang off his arm. I will let him. He will keep this house. I will get an apartment. Fifth floor. I will be happy with the little success I have at work. Even if they are all fucking idiots. He might even take you if you play it right. God this is so shit. The wiating for the end to come is what takes it out of you. (Diane)
Naomi scooped cream onto her hand. She massaged it into Diane. All over.
Bathroom. Ears. (Diane)
058 :: A numbers games
